Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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