he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize