If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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