i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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