These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
