Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
