You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Randomize
