yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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