She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
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