Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Randomize
