My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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