It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
