now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
