i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
