I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
