He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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