Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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