If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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