I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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