I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Randomize
