I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
My pussy is not your playground.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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