tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Randomize
