Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
