I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize