So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
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