So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Someone came in the potted fern
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize