So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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