the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I AM VODKA MAN
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Randomize