who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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