Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
