goodnight i made you a song goodbye
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
