I want to walk on stilts...naked
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
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