My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
