Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize