Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
wow bdsm is so cute
Randomize
