Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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