I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
