But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
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