I think my vagina is haunted
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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