dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
