last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Randomize