i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
