Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
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