That's intense
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
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