Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
