shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
