why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Randomize
