You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
I seem to have left my pride at pride
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize