Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
