Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Randomize