So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
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