if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
