I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Randomize
