She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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