After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
