Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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