This show inspires me to have sex in space
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
