he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
