why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
this just has baby written all over it
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
