My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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