There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
